I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 3 Yes, I ask you also, true companion,2 help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
It means someone needs to hear both sides of the story, to investigate the circumstances. It means that these women must desire reconcliation for the sake of Jesus. It means that the church is caring for them through prayer and grace. It means the church refuses to gossip and splinter into coalitions.
We often find it difficult to walk this tension, to become involved in a personal conflict without being hit by some blowback, or to be involved in a conflict without being swayed by one side over another. Mediators are sinners too. As long as we are in this world, we do not see so clearly. So what can we do?
1. Get Involved.
The answer is NOT to stay away. We mustn't take the road of, "I don't want to get involved." If we love Jesus and His church, we will realize that much is at stake when two godly people are at odds. Their spiritual lives and the church's general health can be compromised. As Paul Tripp and Tim Lane note, "Relationships are a mess worth making."
2. Check your motives.
Do we want to be involved to be the center of attention, to claim victory for ourselves if things do work out? Do we long to be important, liked by all involved? It is easy to see how slippery the slope is in helping to hurting, simply because we want glory for ourselves. I know this is one reason you might think would keep you from getting involved. I don't think the answer is to stay out, but rather, to evaluate our hearts and to simply stay aware. Knowing who you are in Christ is a significant weapon in caring for others. Then you are free to speak, to love, to counsel without fear of being rejected or perhaps even loathed.
3. Remember Jesus.
I can't tell you how significant this is. Our Savior was the greatest leader, teacher, counselor who ever walked this earth. Yet, consider how often he was rejected, abandoned, despised, reviled, taken advantage of, taken for granted. Despite this, He did not turn away from the people. He continued to encounter the mess people were making. He came to seek and save the lost. I find that when I grow weary in ministry because of my sin and the sins of others, I remember my Lord. I know that as a servant, I am not greater than my Master. If they hated Him, they will hate me. Again, this can be so freeing because I can speak truth in love. I am not afraid of people rejecting me because again, I am no better than my Master.
Ministry is vulnerability. But to be vulnerable is to love. To avoid this vulernability is the loneliest place in the world. As C. S. Lewis so eloquently puts it in The Four Loves:
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.